“Not all that long ago I was in the possession of a large pair of hypothetical male reproductive parts, I was irritatingly confident and loved a challenge, it appears that one day I woke up and someone (someone lucky) stole them from my person. It felt like overnight, I had a lovely thoroughbred, aiming for the grand illusion of Badminton Horse Trials, only to come out in a cold sweat at the thought of putting on the saddle!
Who knows what it was, but I just couldn’t seem to find my seemingly stolen balls. Some days, even now, I wake up full of enthusiasm, sit at my desk registering my over horsed self for a British Eventing membership and then clicking the ‘close window’ button at the very last minute.
Join me on my journey whilst I prepare for my first eventing season in 10 years and I hope my tale of scraping together shreds of my dignity and self-confidence help you in some way, even if just for a laugh!
“Like I always say, it’s better than sex on a bed of money with a Lindt chocolate in my mouth!!!””
Please note, these are not children's books (contrary to the Thelwell illustration on the cover). These are for older readers, due to Victoria's way with words and saying it how it is.